The discussion continues: can women “have it all?” Should women want to “have it all?” What does that really mean?
Today President of Barnard College Debora Spar tackles this question in her book “Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection.”
Spar said that this quest for perfection, “drains the energy out of the broader social goals [of feminism] and it makes women nuts. “
photo via The Atlantic
Adding this one to the Amazon wish list. As someone who lives her life constantly trying to please everyone and also managing to piss at least one person off in her life DAILY due to competing demands/overload of activities/work time suck, I think I could use some perspective.
Jenny speaks the truth. Go forth and conquer the ‘List peeps.
Hey friends- Sorry my blogging hasn’t been quite up to par. Wanted to send you a few quick highlights from the week thus far and say hello.
- I don’t get paid enough to deal with 13 hour work days and passive aggressive emails. Result: Lots of Sauvignon Blanc was imbibed.
- Okay, we get it. You’re at Fashion Week, everyone on Instagram. Can we please move past the blurry runway shots that you’re using to prove that YOU WERE THERE WHEN and get back to pretty food and coffee shots?
Speaking of fashion, this girl is WERKING a really good look:
Midi skirt AND leather jacket with simple red nails. #nailedit #thankgodthereisnotacroptopinsight
- Saw this photo and it made me drool/gave me an instant idea for a dinner party:What you’re seeing here is crostini with honey, blue cheese and peaches #gamechanger
- Looking forward to being at home for the first time in three weekends and squeezing in time with some fun friends tonight and tomorrow! And seeing three houses on Saturday!
1. Check calendar on Sunday, see there is a mandatory 8 a.m. in-person meeting
2. Surprising no one, I get to the meeting about 10 minutes late (to my defense, I suffered a mini bout of food poisoning last night.) See judge-y new boss of my boss make exaggerated move to check his watch when I walk in.
3. Boss tells me to send apology email to said judge-y boss guy for being late.
Well I wish that could have been my reaction…but considering I want to stay employed I wrote the “sorry for being late” note and acted appropriately ashamed.
Who the FUCK schedules 8 a.m. meetings on a Monday? Sorry. But that is just not okay.
I have a serious weakness for breakfast treats (or really all treats for that matter), including and not limited to breakfast breads.#screwyougluten So this recipe for almond lemon poppyseed bread is going to the top of the heap for next weekend when I’m home for the first time/last time in three weeks.
Diana Nyad…You are my hero. I need to readjust my attitude and rethink hitting the snooze button for my 6 a.m. workout class, zoning out at work, or not following up with friends. I will do my best to channel your fearlessness, perseverance and positive attitude. Three cheers for Diana Nyad- one badass woman we can all take a few notes from.
…..That said, my ass is still never going to swim in an open ocean. I didn’t even realize shark cages were a thing…now they will haunt my nightmares forever.
Your move, Kim.
I saw this post on the EveryGirl today and just had to share. As a female in a corporate environment, I find it extremely intimidating when negotiating salary, benefits and promotions. As in I don’t do it. But these tips/tactics are straightforward and best of all—FEASIBLE! Go forth and conquer. Those Shopbop wishlist items aren’t going to buy themselves.
CREATE YOUR SILVER PLATTER
You cannot just walk into your boss’s office and ask for more money. You have to show him or her why you deserve it. Make a list of all the benefits you bring to the company. If you are in business, make a list of all the benefits clients receive from working with you. Add everything you can think of to your silver platter–the amount of business revenue you currently bring or will bring the company, the quality of your work, the positive energy you bring to the office, etc. Women tend to underplay our value in the workplace big time, but this is your time to brag, so don’t forget anything. You want to be able to clearly articulate why you deserve more money.
GET SUPER CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE ASKING FOR
Create a list of your must-haves and a list of terms you would be flexible with. And once you have your list of must-haves, make sure you ask for something above and beyond it. For example, let’s say you’re negotiating a new job’s salary, and your must-have is another $5,000 over the salary you’re being offered. When you go in to negotiate, ask for $10,000 more. That way, you’ll begin the negotiation process at a higher amount, knowing you’re willing to take anything at $5,000 or above.
CREATE A PLAN OF ATTACK
When you’re asking for a raise, higher fees or a higher starting salary, create a plan of attack. Know as many details as possible—who will be involved in the discussion, when it will take place, what you’re asking for, and why you’re asking for it. The “why” part is often overlooked, but it’s especially important. When you know the why—i.e., “I’m worth this amount based on my experience and knowledge,” or “I need that much more to reach my financial goals for the year”–you’ll feel more confident asking for what you want. Also, make sure you do your research to see what competitive salaries or prices are in your location and industry. The more you plan, the better equipped you will be for the negotiation process.
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE
The best way to get better at something is to practice, and this goes for negotiation, as well. The more you practice, the easier it will become. I suggest you practice asking for things in your everyday life first; then, when you’re ready to ask for a raise, higher fees, etc., practice those negotiation conversations with a friend who can role-play the situation with you and give you honest feedback. And make sure you’re open to receiving constructive criticism and willing to work on improving any areas of weakness.
GO IN LIKE A BADASS
On the day of the negotiation, do whatever you need to do to feel your best. For me, that means working out, dancing, reading my list of achievements to give me that added burst of confidence seeing what I’ve already accomplished, and talking to the people in my life who are my biggest cheerleaders. Remember: It’s normal to be nervous, but you also want to make sure you feel your most confident on the day of the negotiation. Then go in, do your best, and let the rest work itself out from there.